I heard from somebody who volunteered, and frequently washed the babies and children in an orphanage, and she always felt incredibly happy, and connected. “You can offer the love you haven’t received by doing volunteer work, perhaps in an orphanage. “I have heard a number of times that caring for a child, and giving the kind of love you never received, can be transformative and healing for yourself,” he says.Īnd people who don’t have a child? He thinks for a while. If you have the issue of abandonment, you feel that your parents didn’t care much about you, you were the middle child, or the last child, or your family was very poor and your parents were always very tired when they came back from work … Having your own child can become a way to heal yourself,” he says. “I get a lot of questions like that.I offer different ways to heal yourself. What can he tell people who didn’t have a happy childhood? I always thought of freedom as something to do with politics.”

That genuine freedom is freedom from your own thoughts. There are so many wonderful books by him. I started in high school, with a book that profoundly influenced me by Krishnamurti. So when I went to bookstores I would pick up those books. “What happens after we die – that sort of thing. Sunim was always interested in spirituality, he says, and the meaning of life. “Especially when I was in elementary school, but I always felt a sense of love.” Sunim grew up in Seoul, South Korea and has a younger brother. The best gift you can give to your child is to be happy yourself, rather than trying to make your child happy.” Sometimes she didn’t even come to the airport! Not that she didn’t love me. She loved me very much.” And I realised that my mum didn’t do that. I have a cousin, and like me he went abroad to study.” (Sunim moved to the US to study film, then found the religious life.) “My aunt would always pack everything – food, clothes, everything – and follow him to the airport to say goodbye. My mother cares deeply about me, but is very happy with her own life, and doesn’t have any need to control me. Say, “I love you very much but it’s time for you to grow up.” Focusing less on him, and more on yourself, your partner, and the people around you, will bring benefits to your child.’” I say, ‘Maybe you can let your child know that he is already an adult.

Often parents are so much in love with their child that they want to do everything – even when the child is in their 20s. But when the child has grown up, it’s different. You should pour your attention and love into them. “I encourage people to have a very intimate and close relationship with their child, when the child is one, two, three, four and five. Many of the questions are about family life.

Haemin sunim the things you can see